Question:

I broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago and I’m really questioning my decision. Although there were some things in our relationship that drove me nuts I find that I’m really missing her but I’m worried that if I try and get back together with her that she’ll reject me. Are my feelings normal and is there anything I can do to get back together with her?

Answer:

This is a tough spot to be in especially since you’re the one who initiated the breakup. But don’t worry, your situation isn’t as dire as you think. There are a few things you need to do first before you can start the process of getting back together with your ex girlfriend and in this article, I’m going to give you 5 reasons why you should get her back and how each of these 5 reasons makes both you and her better people.

Let’s analyze your current situation:

Any time that you initiate a breakup with someone, you remove that person from your life. Regardless of whether or not the breakup is amicable and the plan is to stay in touch, the fact remains that the relationship has been severed and altered. For some people who are in toxic relationships this is the right thing to do. For others who have broken up with someone that they generally got along with, this can be catastrophic.

The reality of the situation is that you thought that breaking up would be good for both of you, but now that it’s happened you realize that you truly loved her and want her back in your life because she made you a better person.

Now, before you run off and try and get her back, there’s something you need to do first; and that’s understanding for yourself why you want her back.

Below I’m going to give you 5 good reasons why you should get back together with your ex girlfriend after a breakup. What I recommend you do is look at the questions and grab a pen and paper and write your answers down so you’ve got something to look at because things often appear different on paper than they do in our minds.

Let’s get started.

1. You Make Her Happy

When you’re thinking about your relationship with your ex girlfriend, did you make her happy? Did you go out of your way to see that her needs were put above your own and did that make you happy? If you can answer ‘yes’ to this, then you’ve just discovered the number one reason why you should get back together with your ex girlfriend.

Anytime we as humans make someone else feel happy naturally makes us better and happier people ourselves and so it is with our relationships too. When we make the other person feel happy and special it makes us better people.

2. She Makes You Happy

Did your ex girlfriend make you happy? Was she someone that you really wanted to be around? If the answer to these 2 questions is ‘yes’ then you’ve found someone who is good for you and that you should want to be around because they make you better.

Also, don’t you find it interesting that whenever she made you happy that you wanted to make her happy in return? That’s the sign of a healthy and happy relationship.

3. You have Similar Values and Goals

We’re all familiar with the saying “opposites attract”, but when it comes to our relationships, especially ones that get more serious I tend to believe that opposites don’t attract and let me explain why. When it comes to your values and your personal goals, the only way you can have success is if you and your partner are on the same page.

The reality is that you as a man need and want your woman to be your personal cheerleader in life. You want her approval on what type of schooling you should take, where you should work and other things like that. If you’re with someone who does not value those things and does not support you then ultimately the relationship will fail.

However, if you are with someone who supports your dreams and desires then you’ve found someone who is truly worthy of your love. So if this person is now your ex girlfriend and you want her back, I’d say you’re heading in the right direction.

4. You Help Each Other Grow

No relationship is perfect and neither were you or your ex girlfriend. However, if you were in a relationship where you both grew together and as individuals, despite your personal flaws, then you’ve found someone great.

If this person happens to be your ex girlfriend then you should make it a goal to get her back despite your fears of rejection.

5. You Have Children

This fifth point is a bit of an exception to the rule. If you have children and your relationship was good, then getting back together is not a bad idea. If, however you fought like cats and dogs, and could never agree on anything, then I don’t recommend getting back together just for the sake of the kids.

Children need stability and security just as much as they need love, so if you can both give them that then I think that getting back together is a good thing and something you should pursue.

However, if you know that you’re not good for each other and can’t provide your children the stability and security they need as a couple, then I would give it a second thought.

I have given you 5 questions you need to ask yourself before you start the process of getting your ex girlfriend back. It’s imperative that you be able to answer ‘yes’ to all these questions with the possible exception of number five which depends on whether or not you have kids together.

The reason you need to have these questions answered in your mind and hopefully on papaer before you go chasing after your ex girlfriend is that these are the exact same questions that she’s going to ask herself when you try to get back together with her so you need to be prepared.

One last thing. Now that you’ve asked yourself these questions and you’ve got the answers you need, what you need to do now is learn how to wipe the slate clean with her and get a fresh start by learning the proper way to apologize that will have her chasing you.

Question:

My ex just recently broke up with me saying it hasn’t been the same and she just wants to be good friends and still wants me in her life. I still have strong feelings for her and I want her back. Is this possible and what do I do?

Answer:

Having your girlfriend breakup with you and then tell you that she just wants to be friends is a tough situation to be in because your emotions and feelings for each other are still raw and very real. The last thing that you want as an ex boyfriend is to constantly hang around someone that you used to date but are no longer with and watch them go out with other guys while you’re left standing on the side lines.

So is there a magic formula for getting back together with an ex girlfriend? Well not really. Everything you do depends on the dynamics of the relationship you had and since each person’s relationship is different, the techniques that you use to get back with someone will be different too. But don’t let that discourage you. Below I’ll give you 4 general guidelines that you can start with to get your foot in the door and get you on your way to becoming a couple again. If she dated you once, she’ll date you again.

1. Be Honest With Each Other

It’s true that relationships can end for a number of reasons, but perhaps the largest underlying reason why most relationships fail is due to lack of trust. Somewhere along the line, someone has done something to break the trust of the other person and the issue either gets swept under the rug or blown out of proportion without a proper explanation.

What I want you to do now is to examine your past relationship with your ex girlfriend and see if there’s anything that you might have done to violate her trust. Even telling a white lie or making her suspicious of you is enough to break a relationship, so if there’s something questionable that you did, even if it was innocent and unintended, it’s a good idea to talk about that with your ex.

2. Be Her Personal Cheerleader

One of the biggest mistakes that guys make when it comes to trying to get back with their ex girlfriend is that they try and control them. This control manifests its self in various forms and one of the most prevalent is in the form of emotional control. Many times, ex boyfriends will try and guilt their ex into not doing something by throwing a pity party for themselves and acting depressed that they are no longer together.

While it may be true, you are no longer a couple, there are still things you can do to stay connected which if done correctly will go a long ways to helping you get back together when the time comes.

What I’m talking about here is becoming her personal cheerleader. Be that person that she can freely come to and talk about her problems with. When you allow her to freely come into your life, you start to rebuild that emotional connection that brought you together in the first place.

So as you can see, trying to control and smother her won’t do you any good when it comes to trying to get back with her, especially when she only wants to be friends. Instead, focus on cheering her on and re-establishing the emotional connection you once had.

3. Be Reliable

Another great way to get your ex girlfriend back, even if your just friends, is to be reliable. One of the things that women love most in a man is reliability. They love a man who follows through on what he says he’s going to do because they know they can count on him to get the job done. So if you really want to get back in her good books, even while you’re just friends, then be reliable and dependable.

4. Listen To Her

Communication in any relationship is a two way street, but if you want to maximize your efforts during the breakup, be a good listener. If you’ve done things correctly and re-established your emotional connection, despite the breakup, then she’s more likely to come to you with her problems which gives you the chance to understand her wants and needs.

Now I feel I should caution you here, most guys will make the mistake of jumping all over the situation and try and tell her why they should still be together. Don’t do this! It’s still too early in the breakup to talk about getting back together. What you want to accomplish in this stage is to gain her trust back so that she sees you as someone she wants to be with.

The Last Word

As you can see I’ve laid out some pretty generic tips for you that you can use immediately after the breakup and what’s great is that they work for almost any situation; even when she just wants to be friends.

If you follow the tips I’ve outlined above and you work on re-establishing the emotional connection you once had as a couple, you’ll increase the likelihood that you will be able to get your ex girlfriend back.

Every girl wants a guy who can understand and connect with her. There are rules for pursuing a girl after a break up. I’ll try to explain them in this article about how to deal with your ex girlfriend after a breakup.

Get her back using these 10 techniques:

1.) Do not be afraid to call her. As soon as you call her, try to keep control of the conversation by sounding vague and mysterious. Let her know that you’ve been thinking about her but that you’re also busy living your life. If she thinks that you’re over her she’ll be a little more willing to contact you and keep the lines of communication open.

Also when you talk to her, don’t do it five times a day. Keep it to once or twice a week maximum. If you call her too much too often she’ll think you’re desperate and needy and that’s not a quality that a woman wants. Instead, keep your phone calls short and sweet. The less you say about yourself and what you’ve been doing the better.

2.) Contact her via email. It’s ok to send her an email, especially if the breakup wasn’t amicable. It could be that you don’t want to hear her voice right now and that’s ok, I understand, and so the next best thing is to send an email.

The advantage to doing this over a text message or a Facebook wall post is that an email gives you the writing space you need to pour your heart out if you need to. So take advantage of technology and send her a quick note letter her know what you’ve been up to.

3.) It’s totally fine to date other women after the breakup because chances are she’ll be doing the same thing as well. But I want to caution you here, don’t take dating other too seriously at this point.

Dating others and getting out and having a good time will do you good after the breakup by keeping your mind off her and raising your spirits if you’re depressed. So get out there and get a life and keep an open mind.

4.) Remember her birthday. Holidays are a great excuse to get in touch with your ex and you can’t do better than a birthday because you can personalize the gift.

Everyone likes to be remembered on their birthday. So take the time and treat your ex a princess.

5.) Analyze her. Do you really know what she wants or is looking for in a man? She wants a man who wants her for who she is, so pay attention to what she says and does when she talks.

If you didn’t pay attention to her before when you were dating, do it now. You need to understand your ex now more than ever before.

6.) Avoid Jealousy. One of the things that turns women off the most is jealous boyfriends or ex boyfriends. You’ve broken up and so you don’t have any claim to her, what she does or who she sees.

So if you find that you’re getting jealous of your ex, do something to take your mind off her. Go out with friends and get a life. Do things that make you happy so you’re not obsessing over what she’s doing right now.

Remember she is your ex. And getting back together with her means that you need to avoid this and accept the breakup for what it is.

7.) How does she talk about you when she’s with other people? Does your ex girlfriend talk nicely about you when she’s discussing your relationship with others?

Did you give her any reason not to?

I know neither of you were perfect in the relationship, but this is a great indication as to how she really feels about you as a person. Try and find out what she’s saying about you and take it as constructive criticism. Imagine how much better you’ll be if you can take some of your weaknesses and turn them into strengths.

8.) Don’t play mind games. It’s really easy to play mind games with someone you’ve broken up with. But this won’t do you any good when it comes to getting her back. Do you think it’s going to help you get her back if you play mind games with her?

My advice to you is to stay away from playing any and all mind games during your breakup. If she’s playing them with you, ignore them and focus on what’s really important – her.

9.) Try not to give up control during the breakup. Is your ex girlfriend chasing you after the breakup? If so, don’t reveal your cards and don’t overplay your hand. Even though you can have her back whenever you want because she’s after you it’s important to try and maintain control over the space you have so you can dictate what happens next.

Relationships are difficult and complex at the best of times. And when you’re together, you want to keep the communication open between you two, but when you’re apart you need to try and appear mysterious and more complex.

During your reconciliation with your ex girlfriend, don’t ever tell her you love her unless you’re absolutely certain she loves you back, because if you tell her but she doesn’t feel the same way about you yet, then you’ve played your best card and that’s something you can’t get back.

10.) Become physically and intellectually attractive to her. Even though it’s not the most important thing on your ex girlfriend’s checklist, you should try to stay in shape or get back in shape if needed so that you look like you’re trying.

Also you should look at diversifying your interests to become more intellectually appealing to her as well. Not only do women want someone who takes care of themselves physically but they also want someone whose got some brains.

In short, become the boyfriend she wants. You’ve already got a history together which gives you the advantage over everyone else out there. And if you’re a more physically and mentally attractive person this time around, don’t you think that will improve your chances to get your ex girlfriend back?

These 10 tips will show you how to get your ex girlfriend back when she has moved on after a breakup. Now you have two choices. You can either do nothing and stay in the same place as you are now, or you can take action and restore your broken relationship with her. Learn from your mistakes and become the man in her life who understands her and can connect with her.

Let’s face it, breakups suck. But just because you’ve broken up with your girlfriend doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the road for you. Breakups happen to everyone from every corner of the earth, so you’re not alone in what you’re going through. It’s much easier for women to make up with men than it is for men to make up with women and so I’ve got 5 proven methods you can use to help get your girlfriend back.

In most cases after a breakup, both couples are still in love with each other and the break up is merely a symptom of something that was wrong. Now nobody is perfect and it stands to reason that both you and your girlfriend played a role in the breakup, but now’s not the time to play the blame game. If you truly value the relationship that you and your ex had, look at yourself first before you point the finger.

5 Proven Methods to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Before I get into the 5 methods, I think it’s important to note that if you want to have any success at all in getting your ex girlfriend back you need to have confidence in both yourself and the relationship that you want to salvage. Now you might be asking yourself “what does confidence have to do with it”? Well I’ll tell you. The more confidence you have in yourself and your relationship with your ex, the more likely you are to do more extravagant and risky things to get them back.

1. Analyze the reason for the break-up.

I’ve written about this extensively in other posts, but I still can’t emphasize it enough. The very first thing you need to do when it comes to getting back with your ex girlfriend is to analyze the relationship between you two. Take the time to look at both the good things and bad things that each of you brought to the table and see if the good outweighs the bad. It’s important to note here that everyone in a relationship has their quirks and maybe there’s something you thought that your ex did that was annoying and there are probably things you did that annoyed your ex.

Well I’m here to tell you that maybe the next girl you date will do something even more annoying or quirky that will drive you even more nuts. When you’re analyzing your relationship, try and do it with some perspective and have an open mind. You might find that things weren’t so bad after all.

2. Make the necessary changes.

Not a lot of guys know this, but from the women I’ve talked to they all agree that a man who’s ambitious and grounded is attractive. What this means is that a woman likes a man with a plan. She wants to know that the guy she’s with is going to amount to something. Now this is where you need to have a bit of confidence in yourself like I talked about earlier. Have the confidence in yourself to broaden your horizons and take a class or start a new career or skill and get some direction in your life. I guarantee that as soon as you know what you want and go out and get it that your stock will go up and you will be attractive again to your ex girlfriend.

3. Start dating other women.

Dating other women is a somewhat controversial way of getting your ex girlfriend back but if you do it right it can work to your advantage. The goal here isn’t to get revenge on your ex, but rather it’s to show her that you’re getting on without her. There’s a good chance that your ex might become a little jealous when she sees you dating other women but dating is a great way to boost your self confidence so it’s something I highly recommend.

4. Be a great friend for your ex-girlfriend.

Being a friend to your ex girlfriend is another way that you can get her back in your life, but it needs to be done carefully. If you stay too close to her she’ll think you’re needy, clingy and annoying and probably won’t want anything to do with you. However, if you put too much distance between you and your ex with not enough contact then you’ll soon find yourself on the outside looking in. The trick here is to keep just enough contact with your ex so that she knows what you’re up to but at the same time doesn’t think you’re stalking her.

5. Improve your image.

This is a great time for you to re-create yourself which gives your ex a chance to see things in you that she might have missed. This is a great time for you to clean yourself up and get a haircut or a new wardrobe. Each of these will help you become more attractive to women as well as your ex. Don’t be scared to let her see the new you so ask her out casually and keep things light. Once she sees your new image and the confidence that comes with it she’ll also realize how valuable your attention is to her.

As you can see the main focus of getting your ex back should be focused around you and improving yourself and your confidence.

 Now that you know and understand how to get your ex girlfriend back, imagine how different your life will be when you take action and wipe the slate clean with her and get a fresh start.

Learn More Here 

Question:

I’ve heard that dating other girls is a good method of getting your ex girlfriend back. So how does seeing someone else help get your girlfriend back when your attention and your emotions are focused on someone else?

Don’t you worry about falling in love with this new woman and no longer being interested in your ex?

Answer:

That’s a great question. I know it sounds both counter productive and counter intuitive that dating someone else could actually help you get your ex girlfriend back, but in fact dating someone else after a break up helps accomplish 3 fundamental things that you need to have in place before you reconnect with your ex girlfriend.

1. Reversing Depression

After a breakup it’s not uncommon to be down in the dumps. But dating other people is a great way to help you deal with your depressed feelings.

Do you feel alone right now? Don’t. Break ups happen to everyone at some point in their life and as humans we tend to get down on ourselves when things don’t work out. What’s worse is that depression robs us of our motivation to improve our lives and it keeps us rooted where we are. So ask yourself this: What do I want and how do I get it?

It takes courage to see other people when you’re dealing with depression after a break up, but by going on just one date, you set yourself up on the path to getting your ex girlfriend back. The goal here is to keep the ball moving forwards, not back.

Why is this important? Because you need to prove to yourself that you’re capable of moving past your hurt feelings and moving on.

2. Improved Self Confidence

Women love men who are confident with themselves and their abilities. Why else do you think women are attracted to ugly successful men? It’s not because of their looks. It’s because they’re confident and sure of themselves.

Dating other people after a break up is a great way to change the way you think about yourself which is a key factor in building self confidence. People can see it in your face, the way you dress and how you carry yourself if you’re a confident person or not.

The real benefit you get from going out with other women, even if it’s just a casual date, is that despite the breakup, you’re still attractive and desireable. Don’t take the dates to seriously, but don’t brush them off either. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone special. Either way, dating again is a great way to connect with someone else who can lift you out of your post break up blues.

3. Peace of Mind

Have you followed the guidelines of the no contact rule? If you have then you understand how important it is to focus on something else other than your ex. If on the other hand, you’re not familiar with how the no contact rule works or even what it is, then take some time to familiariaze your self with it here.

Focusing your thoughts on something else other than your ex girlfriend is vital, especially if you want to get them back, and dating other women is a great way to do it.

If you don’t put yourself out there and interact with different people who can bring out the best in you and uplift you then you risk falling back into a depression – which will make it harder for you to get back with your ex.

As you can see, I strongly recommend that you go out with other people because it gives you 3 fundamental building blocks that are essential for getting back with your ex girlfriend: happiness, self confidence and peace of mind. And the best part is you don’t even have to commit to anything long term because the goal is to get back with your ex.

However, it’s important for you to see that women still find you interesting and attractive. This will help get you out of your depressed state so that your ex starts to take notice of you again. After that you can start the process of getting her back.

Question:

What’s the best way to get your ex girlfriend back? Some time ago my girlfriend left me. I made some pretty basic mistakes with her after we first ended things and I ended up pushing her away.

I really want her back now but I am not sure what I should do next. Is there still hope for me to win her back even though I’ve pushed her away?

Answer:

Breakups suck no doubt about it and it’s never fun having your heart ripped out of your chest. And let’s face it, as guys sometimes we do some pretty dumb things when it comes to women. Maybe some of the things we did were intentional, maybe others weren’t. But that still doesn’t change the fact that a breakup took place and now you want to get your ex girlfriend back.

Hopefully you won’t have to do a 180 on who you are as a person, but even still there is still some work that needs to be done by you. I’ve outlined 6 things you can do that will make you more attractive to your ex, even if you’ve pushed her away.

6 Steps To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

STEP 1.  Alter your thinking about how you see your ex girlfriend. She’s a person with real feelings who would like to be loved and cherished by someone, but if you think of her as just something to get back then you’re missing the mark. Instead adjust your interest towards what you have to offer her. There’s without doubt a specific thing you are able to offer her that no one else can so figure out what this is before you do anything else.

STEP 2. Improve the way you treat women. It’s one thing to say you are going to think about women differently and put their needs first, but it’s another thing to do it. The ideal way to apply this is to be pleasant and courteous to each and every woman you interact with as opposed to just the one you are interested in. If your ex sees that you’re treating women with kindness and respect she’ll begin to take notice of you and your stock will go up. If, on the other hand, she sees you treat women poorly and only as objects, your chances of getting back together will be shot.

STEP 3. Be humble. Women are usually not attracted to a macho jerk, but on the other hand they absolutely adore a man who’s humble. I’m not saying that you need to be a push over and never stand up for something that you want, in fact women love self-confidence in a man. Even so you need to be humble and able to show self discipline when the occasion arises.

STEP 4. Acknowledge you screwed up. One of the best ways to get your ex girlfriend back is to acknowledge and admit your short comings. This is part of being humble, but it also shows your ex girlfriend that you recognize areas in your life that require improvement and you’re ready to do what it takes to improve. Furthermore, I suggest you take the opportunity and create a list of areas in the relationship where your actions contributed to the break up. Doing this lets you clearly see what elements of your life have to be worked on so you can be a more desirable person when you try and get your ex back.

STEP 5. Respect her wishes. You’ve just been through being dumped and emotions and thoughts will be running high so if your ex girlfriend needs time alone give it to her. If you try and coerce the issue it will only damage your chances at reconciliation  because you’ll push her further away. Respect what she tells you despite what you may currently be feeling. In the end it will work in your favor.

STEP 6. Show your ex girlfriend exactly how much you’ve transformed after the breakup. There’s going to come a time where she’ll make an attempt to get in touch with you and you need to be polite and demonstrate to her you’re not the same person. Actions speak louder than words, and when the time comes to talk with your ex, take note of what she says and take your cues from there.

Some of these changes will be easier than others, but each one is necessary if you want to get your ex girlfriend back after you’ve pushed her away.

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