I’ve been in a relationship for a year now with my current boyfriend and I really think he’s the one but I don’t want to scare him off and have him think I’m needy and desperate.
Is there any way that I can see if he’s really the one I want to marry without making him feel trapped and obligated but at the same time get the answers I need for myself?
Dating and relationships come in many different forms and functions depending on the individuals involved. Some relationships are purely physical and only focus on intimacy and sex while other relationships only focus on having fun.
Conversely, there are relationships that start out small but have the potential to grow into something special and become more serious and special.
If you are in the latter, meaning that you’re involved in serious relationship that you think has the potential to go the distance, how do you know if both you and your boyfriend are on the same page?
Keep reading below because I’m going to give you 5 questions that you can ask your boyfriend about your relationship and its future.
5 Commitment questions to ask your boyfriend
1. What Are Your Goals?
When it comes to the future of your relationship with your boyfriend, one of the questions that I think is important to ask is about his goals for the future. From where you sit, you need to see if you fit in his future and you won’t know this unless you talk about what goals he has planned for both the short term and long term future.
The benefit about having this conversation is that if there is a future for you, you can be an instrumental part in him achieving his goals and dreams. Not only will this make your relationship stronger and more meaningful, but it also gives him what he really secretly wants; his own personal cheerleader.
2. Am I In Your Future?
Depending on how long you’ve been together, this question is OK to ask. I don’t recommend asking it to your boyfriend of 2 months, but if you’ve been together anywhere from 6 months to 1 year you should be safe. You should know that men and women approach relationships differently because they are different; I know it’s a crazy concept but it’s true.
It’s common in most relationships for the woman to know way before the man, where things are headed and this is due simply to the nature of men and women. Most women see men as commitment phobes who don’t want to settle down and raise a family, when in actual fact the opposite is true. Most men really want those things but they also want to be a good provider for their families and if they don’t feel like they have things lined up just right then they fear that they’ll be seen as a failure.
Ok, let’s get back to the original question about your future together. Chances are that when you ask this question, your man is probably going to pull back a little and he’s might even seem a little withdrawn from the situation. That’s OK, it’s his way of dealing with the information and processing it. Maybe he’s given the future of your relationship a little thought and nothing more? Who knows. I think the main thing you need to take from this conversation is that just because he hasn’t thought about it as much or as seriously as you have doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it.
3. What Do You Think About Kids?
One of the questions that needs to be addressed as relationships get more serious is regarding kids. Now don’t get me wrong here, this doesn’t mean that you or your boyfriend need to make a decision tomorrow about kids, but you do need to be on the same page when it comes to whether or not you both want them.
Most men won’t admit it to themselves, but they secretly relish the role of being a father to kids. They want to coach and teach their kids how to do everything that their dad taught them or didn’t teach them; depending on their family situation.
Having said that, the most important thing you need to take away from this conversation is whether or not you both want kids. If you’re on the same page about that, the smaller details will eventually work themselves out.
4. What Do You Think About Marriage?
This is probably the scariest question to ask when you’re in a long term relationship but it’s important for you to be on the same page on this one as well. If you want to get married, but he doesn’t then you’ll need to dig a little deeper and find out why.
It could be that his parents got divorced and he doesn’t want to go through the same thing or it could be that he’s just comfortable living together. But either way, you’ve got to get a firm answer on this in regards to your relationship. If you’re not on the same page then you may need to re-evaluate your relationship goals.
5. How Serious Are We?
This is another great question to ask your boyfriend when it comes to your relationship. Even though the question itself is fairly general, you may be surprised at the answer you get. Maybe your boyfriend is more serious about things than you thought? But you’ll never know where he stands unless you ask.
I’ve given you 5 questions that you can ask your boyfriend if you’re trying to figure out how committed he is to you. These questions will give you a better understanding of him and your relationship as a whole which is critical when you’re thinking about taking it to the next level.
Now before you go I want to introduce you to T.W. Jackson - one of the authors behind Girl Gets Ring. This is a system that has been tailor made for women who are in relationships and would like to take them to the next level but faces the challenge of being involved with a man who might not see things the same way.
The psychology behind the system is not new but the content is completely unique and up to date with current dating trends and what’s more, the Girl Gets Ring System gives you a no nonsense blueprint that will dramatically help you improve the way you see your man and how he sees his relationship with you.
Regardless of whether or not you are in a LDR ( Long Distance Relationship), just starting out or involved quite seriously with someone, the Girl Gets Ring System will give you the tools you need to get him from “do I?” to ” I do.”